I was at the store today looking at lemonade and this old guy comes up to me, and initially I was expecting him to be a creep, but then he was like
“You look like someone who would appreciate this. Why do cows have hooves and not feet?” and I didn’t know, so he said “Because they lack toes (lactose)”
And I couldn’t help but laugh, and so he’s like “Hey if I can make someone laugh it’s worth it. What do you call a bear with no teeth?” and I slapped his arm and was like “A gummy bear!”
Then he asked “Why did the cowboy go to the petstore to buy a doxon terrier?” so I said I didn’t know and he was like “He wanted to get a long lil doggie.”
I told him I was gonna go home and tell my dad these jokes cuz he likes this kinda stuff, so before he left he started pulling out his wallet and was like “Hold on, I’m going to show you my pride and joy. I never get to and I show it off every chance I get.”
I assumed it was going to be his grandkids or something, but then he hands me this piece of paper that was cut out of an add for some kind of soda and it just says “Pride and Joy” on it.
The dude was super funny, so that was a good high light of my day. When we said goodbye I glanced down and saw he was holding a bottle of straight vodka.
Fun fact: anytime you hear a story that boils down to “and then some ABSOLUTE FOOL sued this totally innocent megacorporation for assloads of money AND WON! Can you believe it? Ridiculous. Some people, right?” 99 times out of 100, the corporation super fucked up, the plaintiff 100% deserved that money,.and you’ve just been fed corporate propaganda.
“Hot Coffee Lady” had to get skin grafts and was at least the 11th customer to be hospitalized. The coffee served to her was in violation of a court order requiring McDonald’s to sell their coffee at a safe temperature.
The “warning: contents hot” label is a passive-aggressive move by McDonalds because they implemented it at the same time that they finally complied with legal requirements to serve safe beverages.
Every time you see “warning contents hot” and roll your eyes because of course it’s hot, you’re assuming that you and McDonald’s agree on the definition of “hot.”
What’s more, you assume you’ve always agreed, which is the baseline for assuming that the lady who sued had unrealistic expectations.
Yeah. I don’t remember the corporate policy for McDonalds coffee temperature at the time, but i do remember that it was *near boiling.*
Your Starbucks? Not near boiling. Not likely to make you need massive reconstructive surgery on your hoo hah if you spill it in your lap.
Also, please remember exactly how much BS someone would have to go through to get that verdict. Generally speaking, someone has been seriously injured or killed. They have to prove that the company was negligent or knowingly refused to fix an issue. This isn’t like airing something on Fox News - there are actual standards of proof that have to be met. Even so, most consumer lawsuits against corporations do not achieve large awards. When they do, consider how severe the damage must have been. The MCD lady only wanted them to pay her damn medical bills (think about how much medical care costs in the U.S.); McDonalds refused. Toyota eventually had to pay a massive settlement (after being sued multiple times) for issues with the gas pedal causing sudden massive acceleration. Do you honestly believe they would have just fixed it on their own? Toyota lied to regulators and blamed it on “driver error” - because sometimes you just hit the gas really hard when you meant to hit the brake… (see https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/toyota-reaches-12-billion-settlement-to-end-criminal-probe/2014/03/19/5738a3c4-af69-11e3-9627-c65021d6d572_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ab92a7e6b655)
Don’t let them fool you into thinking that people are getting hurt by a company’s product just because they’re stupid.
Corporations have no qualms about lying and defaming people they have hurt to avoid being held accountable.
And hot coffee lady was a grandma named Stella Liebeck. She was 79 years old. There were no cup holders in the car. The burns FUSED her l*bia together. 6% of her body had 3rd degree burns on it.
They had to perform skin grafts and let me tell you, as someone in the medical field, skin grafts are brutal as hell. Areas of skin unaffected by the burns are pretty much sliced with a surgical cheese cutter into thin pieces of skin where then those pieces of skin get holes punched into them and then placed on the burn site. Patients say that the grafting sites hurt worse than the burns. This woman went through hell.
She asked McDonald’s for some financial help. Her bill was $10,000. A few thousand maybe would help. Also, she asked that they lower the temp of the coffee. They pretty much went, lol here are some coupons we’re so so sorry *fingers crossed*
She and others who had been injured filed a class action lawsuit. McDonald’s brewed their coffee at such high temps to increase how many cups of coffee they could get. Had nothing to do with flavor. Just yield.
People act like she became this giant millionaire after the lawsuit, but the money was split between her and others involved in the lawsuit. The verdict was that all profit made by McDonald’s for coffee (over the course of just a few days) was to be given to the victims. Crazy to think that McDonald’s made millions in coffee sales over the course of just a few days (and how unwilling they were to help an elderly lady who just asked for some help after their coffee inflicted potentially life threatening wounds on her).
This poor woman suffered through one of the worst smear campaigns in corporate history. Hardly anyone knows what really happened, and that just shows how successful McDonald’s was.
My friend cant have carbs bc of her hyperkalemia so she went to McDonald’s and got a diet coke. Told them she needed diet and a third time when the gave it to her verified it was diet. At this time she had a feeding tube for her partially paralyzed stomach. The dude assumed she was anorexic and gave her nor.al coke. 30min later she was in an ambulance having seizures and her heart was about to stop.
